This Is Beautiful: Traveling

 I'm trying to stay positive about this, I'm at a conference this week. Of course I'm also losing it over the election, but I'm trying to enjoy the change of scenery and all that. It's nice to explore somewhere new, I'll probably write about it soon, and just take an excuse to have a bit of a break!

“Circe” by Madeline Miller

I had been meaning to pick this book up at some point, finally got around to it when I picked it up on a whim from my library. It was a really cool and interesting read, despite my fascination with Percy Jackson I am not the biggest buff of Greek mythology anymore and this was riveting.

Circe follows the story of the titular witch throughout her life, starting with her being born as a nymph to the sun Tital Helios. She is overlooked by her family and actively bullied, until she discovers these plants that have magical powers to transform individuals. She first uses it to transform a man she likes into a god, and then when he favors a different nymph, she transforms her rival into the monster Scylla. After that she turns herself in and is banished to an island. While there, she comes into her own as a witch and bends the island to her will.

The first time she leaves the island she is bidden to help her sister give birth. Daedalus comes to fetch her and they return together. There her sister gives birth to the Minotaur and Circe is able to meet the characters from the myth. She advises Daedalus on how to constrain the monster, and he gifts her a loom.

Then men start coming to her island. She welcomes the first group, but when they learn she’s alone the captain rapes her and she turns them all into pigs. She does this to all crews that come by, until she meets Odysseus. He convinces her to return his crew and they stay on the island for a while. Eventually though, he has to leave, and Circe bears a son as soon as he goes. Eventually, her son wants to leave and meet his father so she sends him off with a poisonous spear for protection. When he returns though, tragedy has struck and Odysseus poisoned himself when trying to grab the spear. He returns with Odysseus’ wife and original son, who stay and get to know Circe. Athena then returns to the island and offers Odysseus’ first son the chance to become a king, he refuses. Circe’s son takes his place. Circe then convinces her father to end her exile and she travels around with Odysseus’ son trying to right her wrongs. The book ends with her taking those original flowers and becoming mortal.

Now the book is a really cool read, it combines a bunch of myths together that Circe witnesses or plays a role in. Because in the original stories, she is only in the Odyssey and even then most of her motives and personality is shadowed. We don’t know why she turns men into pigs, or why she eventually helps Odysseus get home. There are many more beyond the ones I mentioned here, Media and Jason make an appearance, among others. The result is an incredible weaving together of stories, linked by Circe’s life and perspective.

Circe is a very sympathetic character here, we see her bullied throughout her life and we hear her scorn the Titans and the gods alike. When she comes into her power and starts turning men into pigs, you end up cheering her on. Having said that, she is always sympathetic to mortals and is one of the few immortals to actually morn them, so we are predisposed to like her.

My only gripe is with the ending. I do love that it comes full circle and she uses her first source of magic to become mortal, that’s all very nice. But it also says that she then marries Odysseus’ first son and they have kids together and just. Ewww? Like she gave birth to his brother, I know that these myths play fast and loose with all that but the book also very much uses modern morals throughout it. And that is just a little too much for me.

It was a fun read, makes me want to read The Song of Achilles by Miller as well. Hopefully I get around to it eventually!

This Is Beautiful: Post-Move

 So my lab recently moved to a new space. It's been pretty annoying, I first cancelled all experiments in order to put shit into boxes, and then cancelled this week in order to unpack and also find things again. But it's finally starting to clear up and feel nice. The space is a lot bigger, has more windows, and I think will be pretty nice to work in. Best of all is that it has parking! I've been dreading work for a while because I didn't want to deal with the move, but after today I think it'll actually be nice for things to go back to normal.

“When Breath Becomes Air” by Paul Kalanithi

I picked up this book in between readings, mostly because it was available immediately on Libby. It sort of sucks, it is a cool book, but it just made me realize that I have to stop reading these medical books. Just completely, they are not my thing. And therefore this post will be a little biased.

The book follows the author, Paul, through his life including medical school and residency. He gets diagnosed with lung cancer in the middle of his training to become a neurosurgeon, and he talks about his treatments and conversations that he has with his wife, how their marriage was struggling and their decision to have a kid. It drops off eventually when he has to go back for third-line treatment, and from their his wife picks it up in the epilogue. Paul ended up not recovering with that and dying shortly after graduation, he got to see maybe the first year of his daughter’s life and was unable to finish the manuscript before succumbing.

There’s a lot of cool things about this book. First is that Paul has degrees in English literature so he clearly knows what he is doing with his writing. It really makes it a joy to read. And second, or similarly, he talks a lot about how he wanted to understand the human experience and particularly what it means to die. He starts by talking about death in literature, and from there goes to the doctor’s view of it, and finally death as a patient. He struggles with his diagnosis and the fact that he doesn’t want to die, even though he knows that he must. The book therefore holds a very interesting perspective for anyone who has thought about death and what it means to face it on a practical level.

I’m so done with these books though. A lot of the book talks about how horrible it is to be in residency and to be a neurosurgeon. Paul repeatedly says that it is a calling because if it was a job then it’d be the worst job in the world. But there is absolutely no momentum to change that. Whatsoever. And that frustrates me so much about medical training and medical school. People look down on those that pick “lifestyle specialties” where you get to have humane hours and a work-life balance instead of burning out. Paul shares a classmate of his even commits suicide after losing a patient. Why on earth aren’t we changing things instead of leaving everyone to get burnt out? It’s part of the reason why I didn’t pursue medical school in the end, there is a deep attachment to tradition just because and breaking you down just because. I couldn’t do it and take it seriously. I’m not sure I take most doctors seriously as a result.

Anyways so I have to stop reading them. I know too much and this veneer about how doctors are such good, brave people feels false and rings hollow to me. Even someone like Paul who I’m sure was a good person seems fake when taking into context the fact that doctors just don’t have the time and capacity to get sleep and care for people. It’s ridiculous. But also if you aren’t jaded like me, it is an interesting read. I just hate the taste that these memoirs leave in my mouth now.

This Is Beautiful: Halloween Costumes

 This year the whole family is going as bedsheet ghosts for Halloween, so I cut eye holes for the humans, cats, and dog. It's going to be tough to get them to all sit still for a picture, but it'll be so silly and fun! This is really the only part of Halloween I do anymore, but the taking of pictures and dressing up silly is still fun.

“How To Piss Off Men” by Kyle Prue

Now I have been a fan of Prue’s work for a while, my partner found him on TikTok with his series of the same name there, and we were thrilled when he came out with a physical book. Even better was when I saw he was coming to our town on a book tour, so of course we got tickets immediately.

The book is short, I read it while waiting for the book tour event to start haha. But he manages to get in stories about his grandfather and masculinity and how the different quips came to his attention. It manages to be an interesting view on men and how they are while still being a silly little book.

I would highly recommend it, of nothing else it spruces up your coffee table. But don’t get me wrong, I intend to study its contents very closely.

This Is Beautiful: Over the Garden Wall

 This past weekend my friend had an "Over the Garden Wall" watch party to rewatch the classic fall cartoon. It was so fun! My partner had never seen it, and I only just watched it over the pandemic for the first time.

It's really nice watching things specifically with other people, you get to react with them and turn it into a collective experience. And the cartoon is so fun and cute, it captures the fall weather and spooky season so well. 

Watch cartoons with your friends! It's a good time.