"Summer Bird Blue" by Akemi Dawn Bowman

 I think I'm going through a part of my to read list that has a lot of asexual representation, because while this book was awesome, I think that's what put it on my radar. The bonus of it all is that the book actually goes into the thick of grief and healing and what that's all like, with some questioning of sexuality sprinkled on top.

When the book opens, Rumi is driving with her mom and sister. She's in the backseat writing a song with her sister Lea. Then they get into a car accident. Lea doesn't make it. Rumi's mom isn't doing well so Rumi goes to stay with Aunty Ani in Hawaii for the summer. She meets her older neighbor Mr. Wantanabe and his loud dog Poi, and Kai who lives on the other side of their house. She initially hates it and stays inside all day, but she hears a song on the radio where Kai and his friend are prepping to go to the beach. They start hanging out, and Kai doesn't treat her like the girl with a dead sister. She hears music from Mr. Wantanabe's and befriends him as that's the only way music doesn't hurt for her anymore. Along the way she tries to date Kai and realizes she's uncomfortable with that, they stay good friends.

Meanwhile Rumi is dealing with the loss of her sister/best friend, and her mom who she thinks abandoned her because she liked Lea more than her. She's having breakdowns in public when she thinks about her sister and lashing out at her aunt. It takes Mr. Wantanabe heading to the hospital for her to finally forgive her mother and release her anger so she can be sad. She heads back to Washington to continue her life with her mom at the end.

This book made me cry so many times. The author really gets what it's like to go through earth-shattering grief. Rumi lashing out and having meltdowns just felt so real to me. And that it isn't a straight line, she'll be ok and then have to leave a public place and snap at someone all in the same day. To me, there's been so much media these days that avoids grief and comes up with reasons for characters to not have to face their feelings. And this looks right into that abyss and comes out the other side. Rumi can absolutely be annoying, but that is the point.

For the asexuality of it all, I liked it as part of Rumi's personality is that she pushes people away. So she leans into that stereotype of cold asexuals a little bit. But you also get to see how much love she has for friends like Kai (who she gives a full monologue to after their failed date). And in a way she subverts that entirely. 

I loved this book, I thought it was gorgeous and full of life and emotion. It is something that anyone who has lost a loved one needs to read to feel seen, and if you haven't you should read it to know what we all go through.

This Is Beautiful: Peddlebus

 Alright so in the town I live there's this thing called the peddlebus which is a group of people on a small vehicle with peddles and they're usually blasting music and drunk and partying down the street, being kinda annoying. My lab mate decided to do this for her graduation celebration and I was skeptical, but it was surprisingly fun! Turns out that it's great to be the annoying people in the middle of the road haha. We both also wore our regalia and I kept getting like wholesome cat calls where people were yelling crongrats out of cars at me. I kinda think that's awesome. :) So yeah, peddlebus was a good time! I'm glad to be celebrating graduation so much!

"The Last Unicorn: The Lost Journey" by Peter S. Beagle

 I found this through a list of fantasy books with minimal romance (seemed like my kind of deal) but what I did not realize is that this is an early draft of The Last Unicorn by Peter Beagle and not a separate prequel or something. I haven't read The Last Unicorn, I saw the movie ages ago and thought it was depressing and scary and that's kind of been it. So to be quite honest, I'm not really the target audience for this. This is clearly best for fans of The Last Unicorn that are fascinated by how Beagle wrote that book and want to learn more. 

The story starts with our unicorn, she's hanging out in her forest. A dragon comes and is really upset about the state of the world, plus tells her that she's the last one. The unicorn decides to set out on her own to try and find others, or at least see what the world looks like. She meets a butterfly who only speaks in quotes, a child who seems to know what she is, some humans who think she's a horse, and finally a demon who accompanies her on her journey.

I really wish I picked up the actual book, this one is clearly unfinished. The characters are really cute, I love the playing with tropes, but there's no ending and nothing beyond the demon and the unicorn walking together. And maybe there's some message about modernity at the end, I'm not sure. But I almost want to just not write anything as I'm clearly not set up to have a fair opinion on this.

Maybe I'll grab the original the next time I'm in the library. We'll see.

This Is Beautiful: Travel

 I haven't taken a vacation in a while, but I just traveled for my first in person interview for a job. I tried to treat it like a mini vacation, get some rest in and some me time. And it's honestly really nice traveling by myself. I get to do what I want, eat more quickly in restaurants, and have a nice time. I love solo travel so much. And it isn't that long of a trip so I get home and back to it rather quickly. It's a nice mini-break which is what I need.

"Come Tumbling Down" by Seanan McGuire

 This is the fifth book of the Wayward Children series (others can be found on this blog, the first, second, third, and fourth are all here). I was really pleased that this book is a return to previous characters that I love, while I was frustrated about its length primarily. I felt that this was the first book in the series that really suffered from being a novella and could have used up many more pages.

The book starts with Christopher in his room after the events of Beneath a Sugar Sky when lightning strikes the floor. And keeps striking. A door appears and Alexis, carrying Jack, emerges. Cora, Sumi, and Kade are all there by that point. Sumi wakes Jack up and it's revealed that Jack was forced to body swap with Jill so that Jill can become a vampire in Jack's body (which has never died). Jack is slowly falling apart being in Jill's body, so they all head to the Moors to attack the vampires before that can happen. Once there, Cora is called into the sea and disappears. The others head to the church of the Drowned God to ask for help. Kade falls on the way, but Cora then reappears with Kade, speaks for the Drowned God, and then recovers. They head to the castle, body swap Jack back into her body, and kill Jill. Then the others head back to the school.

Alright well, first of all I saw that this was another book about Jack and Jill and I sure was pleased that it wasn't another stand alone. Having Christopher, Cora, Sumi, and Kade all there helped a lot to lighten the mood of the Moors. And they were happy to be reunited with Jack which was cute.

Beyond that though, there wasn't a lot dedicated to this quest. Cora mysteriously returns with Kade, so there didn't seem to be a point in all that. We could have at least gotten something from Kade or Cora's point of view for that time. And Jack does worry about killing her sister, but there isn't anything to speak to her mental status after this. It seems like a done deal from the beginning. Everything in general from the Moors onward just felt rushed, like we could take our time and talk to these characters more. Since the book is primarily about this quest, I would want some details about it.

Anyways, still love this series, I hope that there's more books continuing this story specifically rather than one offs. I can't wait for the next one.

This Is Beautiful: Warm Weather

 I forget this every year, but it makes such a difference when it starts to warm up outside. I get to drive with the windows down, not bundle up every time I lead the house, and just soak up some sun. It fixes like the vast majority of my brain chemistry haha. Anyways we have had a few false springs, and I think we are actually in the clear now. It's so nice out!

Struggling with "Ducks, Newburyport"

 I don't really have a real post this week, primarily because getting through Ducks, Newburyport by Lucy Ellmann has been such a struggle for me. The book is long, but that doesn't usually intimidate me. What is more frustrating is that most of the book is written as a giant sentence stringing together stream of consciousness thoughts from our protagonist. 

It is a cool idea, and as a recent book dealing with the first Trump administration and the world, it is an interesting concept. But I am not getting into it. The stream of consciousness means that I have no idea what is happening as there's so much being thought at the same time, and I don't really know who the characters are or care about them. You'd probably think that we get a very intimate look at our protagonist, but I don't feel that way. I feel like she's behind this wall of thoughts where I only get a brief look at what she's thinking or feeling at any time. It's just impossible for me to parse and make sense of and make a connection through.

There's also places interspersed with traditional narration of a mother lion. These bits make more sense. Yet I am not sure how they connect, except that both point of view characters are mothers I suppose. It is just hard to figure out what has meaning here, there's so much being thrown at me that I'm skimming most of it and it just takes energy.

I'm really not sure if I'm going to finish this. It is a long book to get through if you don't enjoy it. I'm trying for now, but this is certainly the least I've enjoyed a book in a very long time.