“…But I’m NOT Racist!: Tools for Well-Meaning Whites” by Kathy Obear

This was a really interesting read, and it was a free download on kindle a while ago when I got it (I don’t think it’s free anymore though). Essentially this is a book written by a white person for white people who want to be an ally for people of color and help other people around them be less racist.

I’d highly recommend the read for anyone, whether you’re passionate about this subject or not. Racism is not going anywhere anytime soon, and it’s on all of us to try and halt its progress the best we can. This book goes through the mistakes that white people tend to make when discussing race and then offers some alternatives for them.

Pretty much the only critique that I have is that it can seem as though Obear only focuses on the mistakes without providing many alternatives or solutions to these problems. She repeatedly throws at us that we are all unconsciously biased and have a fear of being called racist in front of others, but the ways she gives to minimize this are few and far between. Honestly it seemed like the purpose of her writing this was more to make people aware that this is how they feel and what is going on within their heads rather than to give more solutions.

Having said that, towards the end she does provide some helpful suggestions. She has a whole methodology for taking other white people’s problematic statements and trying to make them realize just how triggering it is. The main idea is to not get angry and yell at them to intimidate or be “the good white” but to calmly explain that they are making a simple mistake, but one that can have a big effect on people. Her philosophy comes from a place of compassion, rather than one of anger.

She also emphasizes having spaces of just white people to talk about racism, which is an idea that I had never encountered before. It sounds ridiculous, how can you talk about racism without people of color, but it also makes sense. It is not the job of people of color to educate us or to point out all of our mistakes, therefore setting up an alternative space to talk about issues and work through them can be ideal. It made me realize that I don’t have a space like that in my life, I should probably work to find one.

This is a quick read, but it is so important that white people continually work on becoming more aware of their own biases and how those manifest in society. Only by working together can we reduce racism in our lives, and that starts with us, right here. Please go read this book, it is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to combating racism and it is so crucial if you want to give others the humanity they deserve.