This weekend marks the one year anniversary of me graduating
from undergrad. It has been quite the ride, learning how to live on my own and
balancing my 9-to-5 with my other interests. I thought that I would put
together a post about living in the quote-on-quote “real world” since
commencement season has so much advice that is not really practical. Or better
yet, comes from people who have not even been in the real world yet! So here
goes nothing, in no particular order…
1. This won’t be your lifestyle forever. You do not
have to love it.
When you graduate and get a job, it can
feel like “okay this is IT this is what I am doing as an adult forever” when
that is really not true. Sometimes you have to go through patches where life
sucks in order to get to somewhere better. Sometimes you have to have a job
that sucks up all of your time in order to hit a point where you can take
afternoons off. So you do not have to be thrilled with every aspect of your
life right now, because it is going to inevitably change. You just have to know
what you like and what you do not so that you know where to go forward from
this.
2. Know what you want to keep in your life and what
to toss.
You are going to a new place with new
opportunities, so know what you want to keep in your life from college and what
you would be okay with losing. Or find aspects of what you used to do that you
want to keep with you. I missed choreographing a lot, so I started off
choreographing little things for myself, and I am trying to teach myself
animation now to still create works of art, but on my own. You also probably
will not have the time for everything that you used to, so know your priorities,
what you want to lose sleep over and what not.
3. Try something new?
Always wanted to get into yoga? See what is
in your neighborhood. If there’s a local theater group, consider heading to an
audition! So many people hit this point and stagnate, keep doing new things and
putting yourself out there!
4. There is going to be a period of adjustment.
The first few months are going to be rough,
and they were for nearly all of my friends at similar points in their lives.
You are going to have a couple months where all you do is miss your old life
and the way things used to me. Relax, you will eventually hit your stride and
find aspects of your life that make you happy. The holes will get filled in, by
you or through luck, and you will end up happy. Just realize that there will be
times where it will seem bleak and as though it will not happen, rest assured
that it will.
5. This is probably the most free you will be.
Seriously the time period just after
college and before a long-term career or a family or graduate school will be
the period of time where you have the least strings attached. Take advantage of
it! Go on that trip that you have always wanted to go on, have a complete
career change just because you can. Now is the time to do it, and you do not
want to be thinking later about what might have been.
6. Consider volunteering more often now.
I know that once I graduated I wanted to
volunteer my time more frequently, and out of purer motivations than in high
school (it was required to graduate then). I started volunteering at a nearby
assisted living facility, and have been giving to charity more often. Now that
I have an income, I can be generous to others. And it feels good. I cannot
really speak for others, but I know that this made me feel much better when I
was going through my period of adjustment, to feel as though people were glad
that I was around and that I could help. I would recommend it to others.
7. Stay in contact with your friends.
Your world is going to rapidly expand to
the edges of the world as your friends all head off in different directions. I
have some overseas, some on the other side of the continent, and some closer
than that but not close enough to see frequently. Make an effort to keep
talking and catching up with your friends, maybe someday one of you will plan a
trip to see the others!
8. I recommend taking some time off of school to be
a person and figure yourself out a bit, so if you’re going that, enjoy it.
I knew that I wanted this break, but maybe
you were forced into it somehow. That is all okay, however you got here is
fine. Just enjoy not having homework and studying keeping you up all night. I
will admit, there are aspects of school that I miss. I do not feel as though I
am constantly challenging myself to learn as often, but it is good to take that
break. Try to relax and prepare yourself for the next phase while you are here.
9. If you went right into school, it will be much
harder, so try to remember why you are there and stay driven.
I know so many people who went off to grad
school and had a bit of a crisis induced by how hard it was and how they
doubted their decision. Remember: you applied to school for a reason. You were
accepted for a reason. What was it? Write down the answer and repeat it to
yourself frequently. It can be easy to forget it when you are under pressure.
Just realize that this will pass, and you will eventually be out from under the
microscope.
10. What cause are you willing to keep fighting
losing battles for?
This is it, this is the big question that
will determine what you do for quote-on-quote “the rest of your life.” Because
winning these battles is far from guaranteed. Honestly if you are going into
something expecting it to be easy, you should change something right now. If
you are not willing to struggle for something, it straight up is not worth it.
So spend some time thinking this over. You do not need an answer right now, but
keep it in the back of your mind. Seriously, what are you willing to look
defeat in the face and keep going for?
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