Asexual and Dancing

 I have some thoughts that I need to just get off of my chest. I'm just so frustrated about the dance world in general, and my experience as an asexual dancer in particular. I've been dancing since I was 5 years old, it's been a part of my life since I was young, and I have been a part of dance groups all through college and even after that. I was on the exec board for my group in college. I'm currently in grad school and am still dancing and choreographing. I've been doing this, I've been doing this seriously, for most of my life. And I still feel like an alien in dance spaces, primarily due to my sexuality.

It's not that other dancers make comments about it or are aphobic, it is more that so much of dance is directed towards being sexual and being seen as a sexual object. That impulse drives so much of how dancers move and express themselves, that when someone comes along who moves and expresses themselves differently it doesn't register as "good dancing."

All of the dance groups that I have been a part of have been non-audition based. I've tried to get into audition based dance groups, I spent a lot of time in undergrad doing that. And I gave it another whirl when I started grad school. I have always felt uncomfortable in auditions for very many reasons that I will not get into here, but a lot of my discomfort has to do with what is asked of the auditionees. Many dance auditions (in my experience) consist of a segment where those auditioning are asked to basically strut across the floor to demonstrate their self-expression. Which isn't a bad idea in and of itself, it is a cool way to try and see the individuality of the dancers. But it always turns into "who has the best sexy walk." I don't have a sexy walk, I have no interest in developing a sexy walk, I end up skipping across the floor or doing a really bad imitation of said sexy walk. This has yet to earn me a callback.

And this is not seen solely in auditions, if you look at any professional dance company the vast majority of their pieces have to do with sex. I am specifically thinking of Paul Taylor's work, I watched some of the movie, "Dancemaker," that showcases his work and was astonished how much was about sex and relationships. There was one segment where he explicitly said "this isn't about love, it is a dance about sex."

There is nothing wrong with dancing about sex and sexuality, there definitely is a place for those works. The problem is that the dance world is now so saturated with sex that there is no room for anyone who wants to create art that is not about those things.

Dance needs to expand its vocabulary beyond just what is considered "sexually desirable." This will lead to more variety in dance pieces, and as a result create more interesting art. Not only that, but it will also lead to more diverse dancers feeling included within this space. Dancers who do not want to constantly be exhibiting themselves as sexual objects have a place within the dance world as well, it is time that we were more welcoming of them.