I'm sort of slowly realizing that I have to do a lot of work when it comes to my perception of my body. It's always been there, but I feel like something about getting top surgery 2 years ago changing my body type and hitting 30 and having more things change is triggering it all up again. All that to say, I have some complicated feelings about exercise because what I like to do to exercise tends to involve looking in a mirror at myself (dance, circus, etc stuff that people perform).
I think though that I'm starting to feel better about getting into aerial circus. I at first was low-key terrified, and just forcing myself to do it because I knew I would come away alright. And as I felt better I ended up in this weird position where my body doesn't like being upside down, spinning, or using upper body strength and everyone else seemed to be moving faster than me. But the most recent class I felt good, and I think it's an upswing from previous struggles.
I think it has to do with a few things. I am finally developing some confidence where I don't have a last second "maybe I can't even get up there" knee jerk reaction. And the people moving really fast just moved up so I'm not constantly comparing myself. And I'm trying to film myself practicing more so that I can like the way I look. It's a journey and I'm sure it'll have down swings again, but for now I feel pretty good.
No comments:
Post a Comment