“The Apology” by Eve Ensler

This book has been on my list for a while, but I was intrigued by the premise and thought it was an interesting exercise to explore and read someone else’s interpretation of. The book is essentially an apology from Ensler’s father to her, detailing the abuse she received throughout her life as well as his thoughts on why or what he was feeling at the time. It also has snippets about apologies, for example that he needs to fully grasp the harm done and try to make amends without making excuses.

Please don’t misunderstand, this is a hard book to get through. The abuse starts when Ensler is five and it really only gets worse from there. That she survived it physically and emotionally is huge. Don’t go into this thinking it is a light read.

I did find myself wondering at times more about the process of writing this book than the book itself. How did she know these things about her father, for example that he was bullied by his older brother? Did she invent that for the sake of the narrative? How much did she worry about injecting her perspective without capturing his? Did this actually help her find closure? I hope it did.

All too often we aren’t given apologies we need, most of the time I would wager to guess. It was nice to read about one woman taking that into her own hands and giving herself what she needed. I hope that it is something others read and take into consideration with their own apologies, but somehow I doubt that the audience of the book is made up of men that need to apologize. Maybe, but unlikely. Still, I think this represents a step towards more goodness and self-awareness in the world.