Allyship

Let's talk a little bit about allyship shall we, I keep seeing misconceptions about it and would like to discuss what being a good ally actually consists of. So here’s a list of seven things anyone can do to become a better ally, and to just have a better understanding of what being an ally entails.

1. Being an ally is an active process, you have to do work. This is to educate yourself, examine your unconscious biases, and put effort into reading and researching the group you want to help. Only after that, does the real work start with educating others as well.

2. Similar to the previous point, don't expect members of the marginalized community to teach you everything. You need to do your own research, and talk to other allies if you have further questions. Don't expect minorities to do all of the work of educating you for free.

3. A good ally is out there walking the walk as well, just talking and teaching yourself isn't going to cut it. You have to go to the rally, donate to the charity, and call out bigotry when you see it.

4. Allyship is intentionally and consistently taking the backseat in the conversation. You are promoting other voices and opinions, not your own. In fact if you're a good ally, people will barely know that you are there they'll just know who you're promoting.

5. A good ally needs to be able to take feedback, you need to be open to being called out so you can improve. You are going to make mistakes and mess up, but being open to changing your behavior and being responsible for your actions helps.

6. You cannot (in fact) declare yourself to be an ally, this is a term that a member of the marginalized community gives to you. It's not the other way around. To declare yourself an ally when that has not been given to you is very disrespectful in my eyes.

7. Anyone can strive to be a better ally of any community, but very few people are really good allies. For example, there are many causes that I support, but there are few that I consider myself to be an ally of because I'm still learning how to best help. Be selective.

Allyship tends to get thrown around to the extent that it has ceased to really mean much anymore. But by fostering conversations around the term and what it means, hopefully we can stop that process and have there be some criteria for which to call yourself an “ally.”