2024 Year in Review

 I don't usually do this, but let's take a look at 2024! I read a whole lot, from a skim of the blog I wrapped up the Diane Duane saga and started a new series (Temeraire by Naomi Novik). Also read more about a-spec identities and Palestine to try and have an informed take about a single thing. It's great that I managed to find a new fantasy series that I'm really enjoying, and that I managed to reread things. I still don't love how I react to world events, but I think that's more to do with the fact that I don't know everything and I have to just keep reading and learning things. And that's alright.

My favorite book of the year (if it isn't His Majesty's Dragon and starting the Temeraire series anyways) is one that I haven't even published the post on so I'll save it, but it's a memoir about art that struck a chord with me.

I also posted a whole lot about how much I dislike being a PhD student and enjoy breaks from work. (Lol?) I'm still a ways from the end unfortunately... But it's been a good year for me and work. I got my paper on the ethics of same-sex sexual behavior out FINALLY. And I sent in my submission for "Dance Your PhD." Both have been a while coming, and both mean a whole lot to me for different reasons. I am very glad though that I can continue to be creative while in my program as I would keel over otherwise.

In the next year, I'm hoping to cease participating in things that drain my energy. I can tell I'm getting a little curmudgeonly in my ancient PhD days and I want to do things less. But I still am doing new things somehow, I restarted pointe work this year and tried out aerial circus lessons for the first time on a regular basis. But there are definitely things I need to cut out of my life. I also was the instructor of record for a class for the first time, affirming that I love teaching, and went to a teaching research conference which gave me a new vision of the future. Both great things for my future!

Anyways, it has been a good year. Hard year but a good year. Things are looking good for 2025, although I am getting nervous about graduating, but we shall see.

Turning 30

 I turned 30 years old yesterday! And I also got married on the same day! (I didn't plan it that way, it's just how schedules worked out.) Which leaves me in this interesting position here, as I have now been running this silly little blog for well over a decade, enough that I went back and reread the post I wrote as a 20 year old. Funnily enough, it isn't as cringey as I thought it would be. There is some good stuff in here, things that I still forget most of the time haha. 

On my thirtieth I don't want to do another little listicle just because those are so lame and such simplifications. And I'm just in a more pensive mood. 30 years feels like such a milestone and also I am still in a PhD program, it's wrapping up, but I'm essentially still in school and training for an adult job that I hopefully eventually get. I don't feel that I have read and absorbed everything I want to learn about and advocate for, and I hope that I keep feeling that way. But I certainly don't think I have wisdom to impart.

The past year particularly I feel like I have had to contend with the limitations of my body more than ever. I'm less physically able to do a lot of things I could in the past, and I've been trying to train more to make up for it, but it feels like I'm hyper aware of how I look and my body type. And I super don't love that. Since my 20th birthday I've also had a cancer diagnosis and had to go through that treatment, and there's been a worldwide pandemic. I didn't react to the pandemic particularly well and I still kinda hate myself for that. I haven't always been a great anti-racist advocate and I also hate myself over that. But we keep moving forward and trying to do better.

I am really hopeful for the coming decade though. I will finally get my doctorate and I will hopefully move somewhere that has more stuff in the area for me. I so want to get into ballet more and keep dancing. I want to keep creating. I made so much great art in my 20s and I don't want to peak here; but it is so hard to create as an adult. Especially out of school and trying to find community groups. It's so hard and I'm not looking forward to that but I know that I can't stop choreographing and acting and making! I don't want to give that up and I'm determined to seek out spaces I can do these things.

Oh and I'm married now. I'm finally in a healthy, stable relationship that feels good. And feels like we are on the same page when it comes to asexuality and aromanticism and what we want. It just feels like a comfy friendship where we will plan together and create a life together, and that is the ideal. Getting married itself was more symbolic than anything else, nothing is actually going to change, but hey it is nice we did that.

So yeah, thirties here we come. Here's to leaving my twenties behind.

This Is Beautiful: Tchaikovsky and Ellington

 I went to the Detroit Symphony Orchestra last weekend to see a really cool performance of the Nutcracker music! They played first the lush orchestral original version that Tchaikovsky composed, and then immediately played the Ellington jazzy version. It was so cool! I already know both versions extremely well being a dancer and a musician but having it back to back really highlighted what Ellington borrowed from Tchaikovsky and how he tweaked it. Honestly, I only want to listen to these pieces this way now!

It also was so nice to hear the music played live. The past few times I've seen the Nutcracker it has been with recorded music instead of a live orchestra. And it really loses something. Never mind that I love live performances because they have raw mistakes (the DSO is too good for that) it's just a different resonance in the space and maybe you're hearing one part a little more clearly. And it's just so cool to see it in person.

“The Thief” by Megan Whalen Turner

My partner really likes reading middle grade fiction out loud to me, so we started this new series. It had a book come out recently so I am looking forward to going through a series that has recent installments and isn’t just from our childhoods!

This book follows Gen, a thief who was recently imprisoned for bragging about being able to steal anything from the King. Turns out that the King needs a thief though, so he sends his magus (like a high level advisor) out with Gen to steal a relic that is supposed to have magical powers and grant leadership over a nearby country to him. So Gen heads out with the magus, a soldier Pol, and the magus’s two apprentices Sophos and A. They cross over into another country and Gen has to infiltrate an underwater cavern to find the relic. He makes it through and finds the gods guarding the relic. The god of thieves gives his approval, and Gen makes it back out. Unfortunately the part is beset by soldiers on the way back, Pol and A both die while Gen is severely wounded. Gen, the magus, and Sophos are all captured. Gen breaks them out and they end up captured by another nation. Gen then reveals that he’s the Queen’s Thief for this country, and he stole the relic for her. And that he was originally a trained soldier and is very smart, and all that stuff.

Now the world building in this book is extremely good, which makes the reveal at the end all the better. As they travel, you get snippets of the current geopolitical situation, which I got most of but not everything to be fair (or maybe I would have predicted the twist haha). What I liked even better was that while they travel Gen starts to tell stories of the gods and you learn about the god of thieves and his exploits as you go. The gods are similar to the Greek ones of this universe, but not exactly which makes it fun.

Gen is also a fun narrator. He’s a little sassy and sarcastic, but only reveals the what he wants the magus to know. So the ending stays a surprise while being plausible. It is a great case of how you can use an unreliable narrator without either making the ending obvious or leaving the reader feeling unsure what is going on. I know from my partner that there are different narrators for the others books in the series, which is too bad because this story does endear you to Gen quite a lot.

Anyways I am excited to get to the rest of this! Will be interesting to see how the series develops.

This Is Beautiful: Thanksgiving

 I wanted to reflect on the holiday a little, but not make a super formal post about it. So here's everything beautiful about Thanksgiving! First of all, I really like the food. I don't love turkey, and I'm a huge supporter of mixing it up a little and doing like other cultures' foods as a celebration, but honestly I freaking love stuffing and potatoes. I also love having a short work week and getting the rest of it off to just relax and recover from a food coma. It's so nice.

This was also the first year I spent it with my partner's family. It's so funny to me that other people aren't as big of Thanksgiving families as mine is. We go all day with the food and the preparation and everything, so when others just sit down and have a dinner it feels... small. But I feel like I needed that this year, less prep work, much less drama, and just a more relaxed time. It also was nice to spent a holiday with my partner's family, he's been doing Christmas with mine so it only feels fair.

So hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving and started fights with conservative family members. Only feels fair.