A Year Out: Retrospective on Living in the “Real World”

This weekend marks the one year anniversary of me graduating from undergrad. It has been quite the ride, learning how to live on my own and balancing my 9-to-5 with my other interests. I thought that I would put together a post about living in the quote-on-quote “real world” since commencement season has so much advice that is not really practical. Or better yet, comes from people who have not even been in the real world yet! So here goes nothing, in no particular order…

1. This won’t be your lifestyle forever. You do not have to love it.

When you graduate and get a job, it can feel like “okay this is IT this is what I am doing as an adult forever” when that is really not true. Sometimes you have to go through patches where life sucks in order to get to somewhere better. Sometimes you have to have a job that sucks up all of your time in order to hit a point where you can take afternoons off. So you do not have to be thrilled with every aspect of your life right now, because it is going to inevitably change. You just have to know what you like and what you do not so that you know where to go forward from this.

2. Know what you want to keep in your life and what to toss.

You are going to a new place with new opportunities, so know what you want to keep in your life from college and what you would be okay with losing. Or find aspects of what you used to do that you want to keep with you. I missed choreographing a lot, so I started off choreographing little things for myself, and I am trying to teach myself animation now to still create works of art, but on my own. You also probably will not have the time for everything that you used to, so know your priorities, what you want to lose sleep over and what not.

3. Try something new?

Always wanted to get into yoga? See what is in your neighborhood. If there’s a local theater group, consider heading to an audition! So many people hit this point and stagnate, keep doing new things and putting yourself out there!

4. There is going to be a period of adjustment.

The first few months are going to be rough, and they were for nearly all of my friends at similar points in their lives. You are going to have a couple months where all you do is miss your old life and the way things used to me. Relax, you will eventually hit your stride and find aspects of your life that make you happy. The holes will get filled in, by you or through luck, and you will end up happy. Just realize that there will be times where it will seem bleak and as though it will not happen, rest assured that it will.

5. This is probably the most free you will be.

Seriously the time period just after college and before a long-term career or a family or graduate school will be the period of time where you have the least strings attached. Take advantage of it! Go on that trip that you have always wanted to go on, have a complete career change just because you can. Now is the time to do it, and you do not want to be thinking later about what might have been.

6. Consider volunteering more often now.

I know that once I graduated I wanted to volunteer my time more frequently, and out of purer motivations than in high school (it was required to graduate then). I started volunteering at a nearby assisted living facility, and have been giving to charity more often. Now that I have an income, I can be generous to others. And it feels good. I cannot really speak for others, but I know that this made me feel much better when I was going through my period of adjustment, to feel as though people were glad that I was around and that I could help. I would recommend it to others.

7. Stay in contact with your friends.

Your world is going to rapidly expand to the edges of the world as your friends all head off in different directions. I have some overseas, some on the other side of the continent, and some closer than that but not close enough to see frequently. Make an effort to keep talking and catching up with your friends, maybe someday one of you will plan a trip to see the others!

8. I recommend taking some time off of school to be a person and figure yourself out a bit, so if you’re going that, enjoy it.

I knew that I wanted this break, but maybe you were forced into it somehow. That is all okay, however you got here is fine. Just enjoy not having homework and studying keeping you up all night. I will admit, there are aspects of school that I miss. I do not feel as though I am constantly challenging myself to learn as often, but it is good to take that break. Try to relax and prepare yourself for the next phase while you are here.

9. If you went right into school, it will be much harder, so try to remember why you are there and stay driven.

I know so many people who went off to grad school and had a bit of a crisis induced by how hard it was and how they doubted their decision. Remember: you applied to school for a reason. You were accepted for a reason. What was it? Write down the answer and repeat it to yourself frequently. It can be easy to forget it when you are under pressure. Just realize that this will pass, and you will eventually be out from under the microscope.

10. What cause are you willing to keep fighting losing battles for?

This is it, this is the big question that will determine what you do for quote-on-quote “the rest of your life.” Because winning these battles is far from guaranteed. Honestly if you are going into something expecting it to be easy, you should change something right now. If you are not willing to struggle for something, it straight up is not worth it. So spend some time thinking this over. You do not need an answer right now, but keep it in the back of your mind. Seriously, what are you willing to look defeat in the face and keep going for?

“The Better Angels of Our Nature: Why Violence Has Declined” by Steven Pinker

This book is an enormous defense of the thesis that we live in the most peaceful times of world history. Pinker defends this eloquently, using a mixture of statistics, sociology, psychology, and history. Nearly every page has a graph on it of some measure of violence, or a related statistic. Of course they’re all sufficiently explained and a good number are even enlarged on the following pages to show more detail. Numbers don’t explain all of history though, so every chapter also has a section dedicated to historical narrative to make sense of the data and show what was going on within people’s heads at the time.

To merely say that Pinker has done his research doesn’t quite do it justice. Pinker has analyzed a vast amount of data and synthesized it together in a way that makes logical sense. He has also identified several themes and recurring ideas throughout history affecting violence, and why they have not always prevailed. The amount of thought put into this book is incredible!

Having said that, this was published in 2011. I wish I could see how Pinker would react to events of the present day. For example, in the section dedicated to terrorism, Pinker mainly discusses Al Qaeda and why they have failed. ISIS hasn’t reared its ugly head yet and shown that it has figured out how to successfully recruit and brainwash people. It has managed what Al Qaeda could not. Then there’s the Trump presidency. Hate crimes have been increasing in frequency since the election, and mass shootings have been getting deadlier and deadlier. I can’t help but wonder how he would analyze these occurrences and make sense of them.

If I had to guess, I’d say that they at least follow most of Pinker’s ideas about what drives violence down. Trade and cooperation limit violence between countries because they benefit from each other, and Trump clearly is not willing to cooperate with anyone. His witch hunts about fake journalism and immigrants and whatever have been sowing mistrust among his citizens and causing rifts that then lead to violence. His brags about his violence towards women have led to white fuckboys feeling empowered to physically assault women and minorities.

But does this mean that violence is still declining? I think so. I haven’t thoroughly analyzed the statistics, but this one year doesn’t cancel out the hundreds of decline. And the fact that many people are now speaking out against violence and calling out perpetrators of sexual assault I think indicates this.

The fact is that when you look at the whole of human history, things have gotten much better. We no longer witness torture and hangings every day, or live in fear of enemy raids. That doesn’t mean that we cannot improve further, far from it, but it is good to have a little perspective when discussing our current climate.

“Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore” by Robin Sloan

My dad practically threw this book at me he was so convinced that I’d like it. He wasn’t wrong, I loved every sentence of it.

Most of the charm comes from the narrator, Clay. He’s just finished art school, but the recession has him out of a job and so he ends up applying to work the graveyard shift at Mr. Penumbra’s bookstore (a penumbra is the darkest part of an eclipse, just saying). As someone who recently finished college and is also looking for a sense of direction in my scattered life, this is highly relatable. His inner monologue is full of quips and a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor, making the most absurd plot points seem realistic. For example, the strange characters that frequent the bookstore late at night come to life as Clay describes them, or the odd requirements of working as a clerk at the shop.

The other characters add to the action as well. There’s Clay’s roommates: Ashley the robot (not a bad thing) and Mat the artist, always working to create simulations with his hands. Then there’s Kat, a girl Clay becomes infatuated with, who works in the opposite world of computer simulations. And Clay’s middle school friend Neel who is now a millionaire creating computer-simulations of boobs. You get the idea, all of these people are quirky and just plain entertaining to be around.

As you might have guessed from the descriptions, a big part of this book is books versus computers, the digital versus the print copies. Now these ideas can seem at odds with each other, but what really happens is Sloan makes an argument for using both together. There are codes that Clay couldn’t have cracked without the help of a computer, and there are codes that stumped even the Google programmers. Making use of the benefits of each is revealed to be the path to truth and clarity.

Another important theme is the idea of immortality. Kat is obsessed with using technology to extend our lives, she firmly believes that we need more time, that one lifetime is not enough. The bibliophiles are similar in their quest, they believe that if they record all that they have learned in their lives that they will eventually be brought back to life. So again we have technology versus books. A third option is also presented: making something that others will use for years. And this creation could transcend the distinction between books and technology, since it can change and morph as the technology changes.

Between the excellent characters, good message, and bibliophile appeal (ok what reader isn’t going to love a book about a BOOKSTORE) this novel really hits the nail on the head. I loved it so much that I devoured it in a day, but you don’t have to be like that. Check it out and contemplate your own lack of immortality!

“The Graduate Advisor Handbook: A Student-Centered Approach” by Bruce Shore

This book is a little unusual in that it is directed at advisors of grad students and giving them advice on how to best help their students, rather than giving students advice on how to pick mentors. However, it is still a useful read because it tells you what to look for and expect in an advisor, and how to act once you eventually are an advisor yourself.

Shore does a good job of making his advice applicable to people in any field, although it does seem clear that his expertise is in the humanities rather than the sciences. But advising on its most basic level isn’t that different across various subjects, so even that isn’t a setback really.

He also lives up to the tagline of a “student-centered approach;” a recurring theme in his advice is to put the student and their studies first. Make the choices that will benefit the student and send them on the path that they want. He does also emphasize that advising is a two-way street, and that the advisor should also be benefitting, but at the end of the day it is ultimately the students that you are there to help and guide.

As someone who wants to be a mentor in various ways to people, I found this really useful. I’ve mentored other students in college, but have not had much experience outside of that. Seeing it from a more formal, university, perspective was invaluable, and helped clarify what to expect later from my own mentor and from myself.

Variations on a Theme: Album Openers

This month we are exploring various songs that started albums, or album openers. I didn’t include any albums that are put together after the songs were released, like “Best of” or other variations thereof. To be honest, this is one of my favorite playlists that I have done. I really like it, and thing that it flows amazingly well. Because of the nature of this category, I’m adding the album name as well to each entry.

1. “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” The Beatles (Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band)

Of course I start this off with a Beatles song. Sgt Pepper’s was a groundbreaking album, the first concept album of sorts where the songs are linked by a theme rather than just the band playing the songs. For the Beatles, this concept was that they were another band entirely, the Sgt Pepper’s of the album’s name. As the opening number, it introduces the band and sets the stage for it. It’s a great introduction to the album that it’s from, and for this playlist.

2. “Emoticons” by The Wombats (Glitterbug)

This is one of my favorite songs by the Wombats. It opens their third album and I think it really should have gotten more attention than it did from the fans. The music behind the vocals is more similar to ambient noise than anything else, but it sets the lyrics off perfectly and sets the album up as something completely different from what we’ve heard before from this band. Coming out of the previous song, the fade in works perfectly and makes a great, if unexpected, segue.

3. “Babel” by Mumford and Sons (Babel)

I think it’s impossible to hear the opening of this song without jamming out a little bit. There’s just something about the banjo that makes me excited. The fact that the singer is so clearly pumped as well adds to that. It’s just a song that makes you want to yell along. Somehow it works out really well after “Emoticons,” probably because that song sets you up so well to get excited and this delivers just that.

4. “Dirty Paws” by Of Monsters and Men (My Head is an Animal)

Taking it down a notch, here’s some Of Monsters and Men. There’s still a lot of guitar so it sounds similarly to Mumford and Sons and doesn’t sound out of place. This band has an interesting recurring theme of animalistic features popping up in all of its songs. This album is called “My Head is an Animal” which has it right in the title, and the song talks about paws. Not sure what that means other than the band has a theme, since different songs do different things with it, but it’s fun.

5. “Blowin’ In the Wind” by Bob Dylan (The Freewheelin Bob Dylan)

This is arguably Dylan’s most famous song. Written about the racism and the Civil Rights Movement in the 60s, it became a song of social change for the hippies of the day. It sounds similar to Of Monsters and Men, so again flows very well. It’s also probably the slowest song on the list, and fits nicely in the middle here.

6. “Press Restart” by Walk the Moon (What if Nothing)

I saw them live in DC back in February and they opened with this song which was incredible to see live. It’s your standard opener with a slow intro that gradually builds into a high energy song. I thought this fit well as the start of the second half because the slow build segues nicely from Dylan and gets you ready for what’s coming next. Also the title “Press Restart” implies that there was something before that you are now restarting. So on to the second half of the playlist!

7. “FloriDada” by Animal Collective (Painting With)

It’s impossible to feel sad while listening to this song. It’s just so cute and happy, makes you want to bop along with it. Animal Collective is such a strange band, they never stop playing with melody and harmony and what the strangest sound that they can put into a song is. This song is such a great example of that, and how the results of their experimentation can be so great to listen to.

8. “Eraser” by Ed Sheeran (Divide)

Sheeran every once in a while will put out a song like this where he is quasi rapping and talking more than actually singing. I think these songs really don’t get enough attention because he’s literally doing something that very few others are with this. This song in particular has a great beat, but as soon as you start listening to the lyrics you realize what he’s doing. He’s talking about how being in the music industry is so shitty that he’s become a shitty person as a result and has started drinking and doing drugs in order to erase the pain of this. I think it’s bold and brilliant, not to mention the fact that it sounds great.

9. “Nuclear Family” by Green Day (Uno)

Most people know Green Day from the days of their youth and the musical “American Idiot.” I am going to put forward the controversial opinion that this album is just as good as that stuff. In particular, this song is just so much fun to listen to. There’s a bit of wordplay here with nuclear energy and how a nuclear family is the mom, dad, and kids. It’s fun, check out the rest of the CD.

10. “The Phoenix” by Fall Out Boy (Save Rock and Roll)

And we are closing with a solid more recent Fall Out Boy song. You can tell that this was intended to be the opener since he keeps saying “I’m back!” which you wouldn’t normally close with. However, I thought that this was the most high energy song on here and it worked best for the end. Have to end with a bang.

And that’s all of the openers that I have for this week. Like I said, I listened to this playlist myself and thought it was awesome so be sure to do that if you haven’t. For next month, I’ll be doing the opposite of this and making a playlist of album closers. So keep an eye out for that!