The Long Haul

It's sort of set in during the past week that we are in this quarantine for the long haul. And when we emerge, life is probably going to look very different. I'm not sure how, or if these effects will actually last, but it's going to be different for a very long time.

I'm not even sure how it's going to look different honestly. I bet there will be a lot more germaphobes for sure, and I bet this will all get blamed on somebody. I really hope that it's the current administration, but I suspect they will pick a certain demographic as a scapegoat. Maybe we'll be more suspicious of large crowds. I bet it'll feel strange to go back to in person classes and things like that.

What even will our mind spaces be like in the summer when we can emerge? I bet I'm going to be a total wack job by then, having been shut inside for like 4 months. Hopefully not, but I can see it really easily.

It's just... It's starting to set in that there is no going back to before the pandemic. Life is going to look radically different for a while now. And that's hard to process because I don't know what that will be or how I'll feel about it. So there's no real way to prepare, just have to expect there to be change.

This Is Beautiful: Sewing

Alright so I mentioned this over the weekend, but I've started making these little plushies from a kit my sister bought me. They're actually super cute and really fun to make! I love how they're small enough that I can finish one in a brief session, and the sewing isn't that complicated. The kit comes with enough to make a whole bunch, and you can bet that I'll be stretching that out as much as I can.

Probably once the pandemic dies down I'll give them away as gifts to people. I don't really have to keep them around haha, and others might like them. Get crafty in your isolation!

Update from the Quarantine

Man has it been a strange week. Michigan went from 2 confirmed cases to over a hundred. I know that they aren't testing everyone so there's more than that, but that is still a huge jump wow. Anyways, I don't want to talk about the virus forever, but here's a list of what I'm doing to try and keep myself busy during this time.

1. Crafts!
My sister bought me a little kit to make plushies for my birthday and I'm finally getting around to popping that open and making some haha. It's great to have a physical manifestation of your efforts, and they are pretty cute as well! Hopefully I'll fill the house up with my crafts!

2. Online yoga
I'm not one for the gym, but I do like dancing, stretching, and yoga. There's a bunch online, I quite like the app Down Dog, that you can do for free! Have to keep that body moving even though we can't leave the house that much anymore.

3. Choreographing
I was supposed to be a part of this performance in April, but that got cancelled for obvious reasons. I see no reason why I shouldn't put an act together anyways, now I have the free time to work on it!

4. Check in with friends
You should all be doing this regardless. Talk to your friends! See if they're okay. It'll keep you from going insane and it'll be helping your pals too.

5. Read a book
The thing I can't stand about being in school is that I never have the time to read anymore. Can't say that now! Support your local bookstores as well, they need the support during this time.

So there we go, 5 suggestions, short and sweet. I hope everyone is staying safe and making smart choices out there.

This Is Beautiful: Sleeping

Couldn't think of much this week, so I'm going to go with a well-earned nap. Sleeping is good for you, it helps your immune system and let's your brain get all ready for the next day. And coming off of another surgery, I really needed more of it this week. The silver lining in everything getting cancelled is that at least I can sleep in more. So there's that.

Coronavirus

I'm just going to vent for a while. Coronavirus has been everywhere and I'm sick of it and I'm sure you are too. But it's just I'm so annoyed with everyone right now. I had very little faith in our medical system to begin with, and then has completely obliterated any of that remaining. China dropped the ball, the government tried to cover it up instead of doing something so it got out and went to Europe. Then the US was completely inadequately prepared for it since Trump slashed CDC funding and fired officials hired by Obama to control pandemics. The irony is that countries like Italy that have been transparent about it and dealing with the pandemic alright are now getting slammed by everyone else so no one else wants to share what's been going on. And as of this past week the WHO has declared it a pandemic and everyone is freaking out and won't shut up about it on social media. And I'm so fucking sick of it.

First of all, let me state that this is a real public health crisis. It's exposing all of the cracks in our society and our health care system. You should 100% wash your hands (funnily enough, you should be doing this anyways) and self-isolate if you are in contact with older people. It's a very real fear and we should take precautions.

Having said all that, there is no need for this kind of mass panic. Buying masks in bulk is stupid, the masks only protect others if you are coughing. Shutting down major schools is horrible, it leaves many kids stranded if they cannot afford or simply just cannot go home right away. Everyone's in such a rush to make it look like they're making a last ditch effort to do SOMETHING that no one is doing anything well anymore. Not to mention that this disease is only killing off older people with pre-existing conditions (particularly respiratory and diabetes for some reason). College students aren't that. People in contact with those populations should have the brains to isolate themselves.

This is of lesser concern, but isolation is going to take one hell of a toll on people mentally. Depression and anxiety are going to skyrocket this year. Particularly among those college kids we just either sent home or told to become shut-ins. This is going to last for the next few months and riding it out is going to suck.

And then there's the public's response to this. People are being racist left, right, and center. I wouldn't be surprised if the entire thing was blamed on foreigners by the xenophobes. And the funny thing about foreign scary diseases is that they have a tendency to hit on election years...

I for one want to know where all of this momentum was when we heard it was going to be a bad flu year. The flu has a much higher mortality rate than COVID-19 thus far and while comparing the two is an oversimplification I think it stands to reason that if we're going to freak out this much over a foreign disease we should have done something about a seasonal one that we're prepared for. Or what if we put this energy towards fighting climate change? The possibilities are endless.

The absolutely stupid part of all of this is that we're going to be fine. Most people who get the disease recover. Therefore no one is going to do anything to fix this broken health care system. Honestly part of me hopes that shit seriously hits the fan here because maybe something will CHANGE. But I doubt it.

Let me reiterate though: definitely take the recommendations seriously. This is a pandemic and definitely something to be aware of. But please. Stop. Flipping. Out. You're going to be fine.

This Is Beautiful: Schitt's Creek

A year ago a friend of mine showed me the first few episodes of "Schitt's Creek" and while I didn't get super into it then I did enjoy it. And while I was recovering from my surgery I started bingeing it again. It's a great show to binge honestly, very well-written and fun to watch.

I think the aspect I like the best of the show is there's this optimism to it. It doesn't completely make fun of the characters, there's still something relatable to them and some redeeming aspects. At it's base, it's a show about people who are out of their comfort zone and trying to rebuild which I think we can all relate to.

So yeah, started a new show. Very excited for where this leads.

Thyroidectomy

Alright I can't remember if I mentioned this here at all, but I recently had a thyroidectomy. As in, a surgeon removed my thyroid from my throat. This was all done for health reasons, which I don't super want to get into right now, but let's just say that they found a small nodule of cancerous cells on my thyroid, and the treatment is basically removing the thyroid. It's the most common and treatable form of cancer, so don't start freaking out.

I'm not entirely sure what I want to say with this post, but the thing I keep coming back to is the big ol scar across my throat. That's just going to be part of my first impression on people for a while. And the surgeon was super great, he lined it up with a natural crease in my neck so it'll get less noticeable as I get older. But it's still there.

Supposedly it's not uncommon for young (mostly female) people to get diagnosed with this and have this procedure. But I haven't seen anyone else with this neck hole around. And I think I'm going to be super self-conscious about it for a really long time.

And since I am now missing an endocrine organ, I'm on thyroid hormone for the rest of my life. Popping those pills every day. Which isn't horrible until there's an issue with getting the meds or if the dose is wrong or something.

This post is a mess, but it's just a collection of my thoughts. I just feel so self-conscious about this and this procedure. Because if it's common, why haven't I heard about it before? So if I have to start this conversation by smashing this out somewhere, guess that's what I have to do.

This Is Beautiful: Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week

This is late, but the week after Valentine's Day was Aro Spectrum Awareness Week! I'd only started identifying as aro-spectrum this summer, so it technically was my first one of being out and about with it. And too be honest it was really lovely, I can't stand Valentine's Day so the contrast really made it all the better.

In case you don't know, aromantic refers to people who do not experience romantic attraction. Aros may still want to date and have partners, and are still capable of forming really important friendships and bonds with other people. Personally, I am gray-romantic, so I am somewhere in between being aromantic and being not. This can mean different things to different people, but for me it's primarily this feeling that I don't experience romantic attraction the way most people do. I rarely get crushes, often have a hard time figuring out that I have one, and then have a really hard time getting over them because these feelings are so rare for me. So there's a brief introduction to the aromantic community, go educate yourself and learn more. :)

The main way I celebrated the week was with a hang out session! Me and a bunch of other a-spec people organized a low-key snacks and games hang out which was a ton of fun! The aro community is so small that it's rare we all get together, if we planned more frequent things then no one would show up haha. But it's so nice when we're all there, because we all just get it. You don't have to explain yourself to these people and we can all relax and be ourselves and joke about our orientations.

Hope you all had a nice Aro Awareness Week! Or a nice week of Feb. 17th if not.