"the princess saves herself in this one" by Amanda Lovelace

I've been meaning to read this one for a while, it caught my eye in a bookstore months ago. I finally managed to borrow it from a friend. It's a quick read, as a collection of poems most of the page doesn't actually have words on it haha. But a lot of it is very powerful, and potentially very triggering.

The book tells the story of how the author was abused when she was younger, and how she pulled through it and got to a better place. The entire thing is accompanied by the metaphor of her being a princess who turns into a queen and defeats her dragons.

Some of the poems are really lovely and quite good. And it's super inspirational to hear about her journey. But I found myself thinking at times that the content doesn't super live up to how great the title is. And the format of doing this in a series of poems leaves the reader wanting several additional details. So while I loved parts of this, in general, I think I'm slightly disappointed.

This Is Beautiful: Flowers

Living in DC, can really rightfully say that the cherry blossoms are beautiful this time of year. The thing I never really comprehended about the area though is that the cherry blossoms are EVERYWHERE not just in the touristy areas. There's a bunch on my walk to work and being able to stroll underneath them twice a day is a wonderful experience.

Go outside! See some flowers! Make it part of your routine! It's good for you!

“Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity” by Steve Silberman

My friend bought this for me to see what my opinion of it was since she knows I read a lot of pop science type books. This one felt different to me though, it feels more like a history book rather than a science one.

Silberman goes through the history of autism and our conception of it, starting with Asperger and continuing through the movie “Rain Man” all the way up to the present day. It’s incredibly detailed, you feel as though you really get to know all of the different players regardless of whether they are clinicians or advocates. He even gets into science fiction and explains how that environment led to modern autism movements!

Throughout the whole book he takes a very gentle tone and doesn’t berate the reader for any misconceptions they may hold regarding autism and the autistic community. He knows that this is probably a learning experience for many readers and guides them to more open and welcoming frames of mind.

I would highly recommend this! It’s very well-written, and so little is known of autism that I think anyone can learn from this.

This Is Beautiful: Dogs

DOGS ARE SO PURE we definitely don't deserve them. They love you unconditionally and are such great companions. Thank God that we have hit the point in civilization where so much of the internet is dedicated to pictures of them. Literally I'm in like 3 Facebook groups about dogs. It's so great.

Dogs are wonderful. I wish more people could be like them.

“Fever Dream” by Samantha Schweblin

Picked this up on a recommendation from a friend who basically just wanted to know what I made of it. Let me tell you, this book is a time and a half. It’s a short read, but it sure does mess with you.

The basic plot is that Amanda is a woman who is dying, and she’s talking to David, a young boy, in the emergency room. Through their conversation you learn about Amanda’s daughter Nina, as well as David’s mother Carla. And about how the small town that they reside in is probably poisoned.

Obviously this work centers around the relationship that parents have with their kids. Amanda often refers to a “rescue distance” or the distance it would take for her to save her daughter should something happen. She also references a “rope” connecting her to her child.

Ok SPOILERS AHEAD so David was a normal kid, but then was poisoned and Carla opted to have part of his soul sent to another body, minimizing the poison in him and rescuing him, but as a result something returned to his body while part of his soul went somewhere else. Which seems like a pretty fucked thing to do to me. I’d rather have the kid stay in their body and die then subject another parent to a Freaky Friday type switcheroo. But that’s just me. And in the end the same thing happens to Nina when she and Amanda are poisoned.

Carla goes nuts looking for the piece of David in the town, and she’s convinced that her child is a monster because she keeps finding him burying animals. Somehow David is causing them to die without touching them, which is very unclear, and then digs their grave. I get the feeling that David is killing everything that comes into contact with the poison in the town. Possibly so that they don’t go through what he did. The splitting of soul stuff.

Something just seems off about Carla the whole book. I thought she was some evil party initially, but by the end the characters seem to confirm her as blameless. She means well, but still splits kids in half.

My best guess, if I were to synthesize this, is that being a mother can lead to unhealthy attachments, due to some poison inherent in society. And those mothers with unhealthy attachments affect those around them. Amanda had an attachment, not really an unhealthy one, to her child. But her kid was split nonetheless. Something like that. There are many layers to this story, this is just my best guess at one of the first ones. Take a look and try to decode it for yourself if you want.

This Is Beautiful: I Wrote This For You

While poking around on the Internet, I found the poetry blog "I Wrote This For You" by pleasefindthis. It's incredible, the whole project is a collaboration between a poet and a photographer, and every one of the poems is written precisely for you.

Seeing genuine emotion like this on the internet is wonderful, there is so much cynicism and basic denial of feelings in the world right now. Which is silly, because we all feel feelings. Art like this reminds us that it is okay to love, and it is okay to feel pain. And it's okay to express that to others. In fact, it's imperative that we do.

Having a space like this has been particularly helpful for me recently, it reminds me that what I'm feeling isn't wrong or bad, it's just a part of life. I hope that this blog helps you as well.

"Apollo's Angels: A History of Ballet" by Jennifer Homans

The strange thing about being a dancer is that you learn so much about how to dance, but very little about where it came from or what the story behind it is. This book aims to change that by narrating the history of ballet from the French court to Balanchine. And it is all written by a very accomplished dancer!

I really enjoyed reading this, everything is presented in a straightforward way, not highbrow at all. Homans is clearly trying to make ballet and dance accessible to everyone through this. There are also numerous pictures to illustrate points she wants to highlight, since dance is such a visual medium.

It struck me as I was reading how little we know about some past ballets. The author discusses this, sure, but she also mentions finding grainy tape of a lesser-known Balanchine work, or how people re-choreograph dances such as "The Rite of Spring" since all of the choreography has been lost. It's really incredible just how easy it is to lose these works.

The only comment I would make is that Homans' voice and opinions come through just a little too clearly. Her opinions on dances make sense, but having never seen any of them I am skeptical of her judgement. Especially when she goes against the public perception of the dances. A citation of a review or another dance anthology or something would have been helpful. There's also a section at the end where Homans discusses how ballet is possibly coming to an end. Main reason being that there aren't great dancers or choreographers anymore. Which I think is all premature, everyone always thinks that the time they live in is the worst ever. Possibly the next great choreographer is just around the corner. You never know until afterwards really. I think her opinion carries quite a bit of weight as a dance critic, but best to take it with a grain of salt.

So, great and fascinating book on the history of an art form. I would highly recommend it to dance enthusiasts, or anyone interested in this art.

This Is Beautiful: Sunshine

Something about the sun just has the amazing ability to brighten people's moods! Seriously I find that when I'm sad and I just go outside and soak in the rays for a few minutes I'm already measurably happier.

We spend so much time inside staring at the outside world, we forget that we need to leave the house and soak up some vitamin D every once in a while. Go outside! It's good for you!

Variations on a Theme: Breakup Songs

Yeah full disclosure I’m going through one hell of a breakup so here’s just a list of songs that have been helping me through it. Maybe they will help someone else too.

1. “Show Me Where It Hurts” by Jukebox the Ghost

I figured out how to play this song on the ukulele to get some feelings out. It’s a really beautiful piece, more about depression than a breakup, but it helps with the sad.

2. “Miss Missing You” by Fall Out Boy

Fall Out Boy is such a great band, they have angry songs about everything. Especially for when “the person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger.”

3. “Isabel” by The Wombats

Again, pretty sad song. Mildly depressing. But it’s super charming, I like it a lot.

4. “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers

COMING OUT OF MY CAGE AND I BEEN DOING JUST FINE

5. “Love Is a Laserquest” by The Arctic Monkeys

Another one I learned on ukulele. I swear the Arctic Monkeys know my life and were writing about my future with this whole album, but this is one of my favorite tracks. The blend of instruments is great, highlighting guitar while also featuring the drums and that beat, and the lyrics are wonderful.

6. “Long Gone and Moved On” by The Script

Classic breakup song about someone moving on before you do. It’s sad but it happens. I just really love the melody in this song, how it verges on a wail or scream or something without ever crossing that line.

7. “Someone Like You” by Adele

Another classic. Honestly Adele’s whole album that this was from was about breakups. Yeah you know the words, don’t pretend you don’t.

8. “I Will Follow You Into the Dark” by Death Cab for Cutie

A really cute song, but real sad if you think about it. The singer isn’t with his beloved, but is saying that he would go with them into the afterlife anyways.

9. “Sonata Pathetique” by Beethoven

I love this piece for piano. Supposedly Beethoven wrote it about his suicidal thoughts, and it is about his fight with them after going deaf. The piano captures the mood so beautifully, which doesn’t mean that it isn’t a violent piece full of emotions, but means that it expresses it in a wonderful way.

10. “Praying” by Ke$ha

Fuck people who mess with you and make you feel less than you are. They don’t deserve your time, and I hope they find salvation someday.

That’s all for now! Next month will be SUMMER SONGS!