“Unburied Fables” edited by Creative Aces Publishing

It’s another installment of the Great Ace Digital BookBox! As you may know, Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week is in the middle of February, so this selection was done with that in mind. This book is a collection of fairy tales retold with queer characters of many different identities, but most of them are aromantic.

I just really want to highlight that aspect for a second here. It is so rare that you see explicitly aromantic characters in literature. Most stories center around finding your soul mate or whatever and deviations from that are rare in and of themselves. Then to explicitly have a character identify as not about that is so uncommon! But it is so important for people who identify as aromantic to see characters like them. We can forget that, since there are stories about majority cultures all the time. For example, as a white women there are plenty of stories about that aspect of my identity, and I’ll never really know what it’s like to be a woman of color and wanting to see my life on a big screen. But there are other aspects of my identity, asexuality and aromanticism, that are never portrayed in the popular media. And I sometimes forget that those identities are just as important to see. So reading this collection of stories reminded me of that in a very positive way.

Beyond the aro representation, all of the stories feature queer characters. There is one with a trans woman, and most feature gay relationships between men or women. These can be just as important because this is a collection of fairy tales being retold. Fairy tales NEVER include queer relationships, so any addition is super important for those reading.

Now this is a collection of short stories, so the nice thing is that if you don’t like one it’s usually over within 10 pages or so. Usually it backfires with me because I want to know more about the characters but in this case I felt that less often. Possibly because it’s fairy tales, they just live happily ever after at the end.

I think my personal favorites were “Li Chi and the Dragon,” “Match Sticks,” and “The Last Lost Boy.” The first one because it featured a gay lady slaying a dragon and I’m into dragons of any kind (didn’t like that it died but that’s fine). The second because it made a point to highlight loving relationships that weren’t necessarily romantic or monogamous which is soooo important. And the last because it was a wonderful adaptation of Peter Pan into the modern day and also featuring gay boys. But there are many more than that which were a joy to read!

If you haven’t signed up for GAB yet, get on that! It’s so fun getting a new book delivered to your email every month! And in case you can’t tell I have quite enjoyed their selections so far.

This Is Beautiful: LOTR

Last weekend I rewatched "The Fellowship of the Ring" with a couple of friends. Let me tell you, that movie holds up so well! The production is incredible for 1999, and since most of the shots relied on creative angles to make the hobbits look smaller it has aged incredibly well.

Also just about every actor in it is so attractive.

Lord of the Rings is also just an incredible story about evil and power and how it corrupts us. Seriously one of the best fantasy epics out there, and putting it on the big screen in such a successful way changed the game for fantasy movies. There sure wouldn't be a Harry Potter or a Game of Thrones without it.

Go rewatch, I highly encourage it.

A Defense of Community Arts Groups

So recently I swapped from performing in a community band to a university band again. And I have to say. I'm not loving it. Being a part of my previous band was awesome, everyone was welcoming and focused on making music together. And now I'm back with auditions and seat placements and music majors and everything else. Granted, community bands are incredibly variable in environment and quality and not every group will be like the one I was in. But at the same time, they all have a lot in common just by necessity since they are all community groups and are primarily consisted of non-professional musicians.

Being a non-professional musician or a volunteer means that you are taking your own free time and dedicating it to music. No one is requiring this of you, this is something that you want to do of your own free will. To contrast, often students are required to take an elective or to reach a certain number of credits. For the vast majority of those in university bands, passion is not the motivating factor for whether or not they are in a band. But I would say that it factors highly in community bands.

Then there's the auditions. University bands are a learning environment, and therefore we need a motivation for learning. Thus the auditions. Even if you aren't cutting people, most of the time you still need to record yourself and submit it. Which is just as nerve-wracking. I have yet to be a part of a community group that had auditions. And the difference in tone is incredible. Everyone is so much more relaxed in a community group and less cut-throat since they aren't in competition with each other for seats and solos and all that. In addition, it makes it more welcoming so you get a more diverse group of people. Just started playing again after several years? Sure come to rehearsal! Don't want to practice too much but want to make art in your spare time? Come through! The result is a lot of people of many different backgrounds and abilities that join together in one ensemble.

I never thought that diversity of a group would make or break whether I liked it, but then I made this transition from a diverse community band to a homogenous university band. Walking in the first day of jazz band and realizing that there was only one other girl and that 95% of the group was white was one hell of a wake up call. I didn't feel comfortable or really accepted in that setting. And I'm white, I haven't even historically been excluded from these spaces, imagine how minorities feel!

To conclude this rant, there are several issues that I have with my current band and many reasons why I prefer the community band setting. Maybe I have yet to find my group. I hope I do eventually, or at least figure out a way to improve the band that I'm in.

This Is Beautiful: White Feminist

Last weekend I saw this really cool one woman show entitled "White Feminist." It was basically a satire of a lady's news show where she talks about building a school in Africa on her most recent "voluntourism" trip and drinks wine and complains. And of course it involves a healthy dose of making fun of the audience and the things we do under the guise of "activism" like texting RESIST to a robot and calling it a day.

I thought it was an incredible show, it walks a fine line between making you uncomfortable and also making you laugh. The main character/host of the show is so incredibly annoying and oblivious, but you feel sympathetic to her and want her to succeed with her show. And by choosing to highlight what we have done in response to the political climate rather than offer concrete answers about what we should do, it highlights the issues without taking on a more moralizing burden.

If you've heard of the show, definitely go see it. It's important to see our flaws and not take ourselves too seriously. But also to start thinking of how we can improve.

Yo Screw Valentine's Day

Not a fan. There's this great term "amatonormativity" which is the assumption that everyone has to be in a monogamous romantic relationship in order to be happy. Obviously this is total BS. It was originally coined by the poly community I believe, but the ace/aro community has picked it up as well since they are also affected by it.

Valentine's Day revolves around this idea, that we need a romantic relationship in order to feel satisfied with our lives and if we haven't found that then we have somehow failed. Doesn't hurt that a whole bunch of companies make a load of money off of it because capitalism loves feeding off of our insecurities.

Folks, you don't need a relationship to be happy. You don't need romance to be happy. What you do need to be is happy with yourself and who you are, because you're stuck with the inside of your own head for life.

This Valentine's Day I challenge you to love yourself, or at the very least, do some form of self-care that is making strides towards that. Because you are more important than all the partners in the world. <3

This Is Beautiful: As Far as my Fingertips Take Me

Last weekend I went to go see a work of performance art in Ann Arbor. As the title states, this was "As Far as my Fingertips Take Me," a work that I think has been traveling around the US. The basic premise is that you sit down, stick your left hand through a hole in a wall, and a refugee paints your arm while you listen to his story through a pair of headphones. Whole thing takes about 15 minutes.

It's super powerful, like I was getting someone else's tattoo inscribed on my arm. And the fact that I couldn't see him until the work was over really affected me. It's not often that you let someone touch you without seeing them, and even rarer that you surrender over your arm for someone else to paint on. That was wild.

I left thinking a lot about anonymity and other people's lives, how we hear about tragedies like the refugee crisis constantly but because of the way the news works we never really internalize that those are PEOPLE out there with lives and families and who make art like this. And beyond that, the people you pass on the street are just the same.

This was a super powerful experience, if you hear of the show or something similar is happening near you, I would definitely recommend grabbing a ticket.

“The Big Book of Post-Collapse Fun” by Rachel Sharp

The latest installment of monthly e-books I’m getting from theGreat Ace Digital Book Box is here! This book centers around Mab, a recent college graduate who majored in philosophy living in Portland, trying to figure out her life. Everything falls apart when the tectonic plates of the Earth start shifting, causing earthquakes and disasters all around. Suddenly Mab is what seems to be the only person left in Portland, trying to survive while she has all the survival skills of a coddled 20-something who doesn’t work out that often. Eventually she decides to try and make it to Canada, one of the most stable places on the globe, with a dumb but loyal canine companion named Vet by her side.

One of the biggest struggles with this kind of book is the lack of other people. Mab is alone for the entire book, save the last chapter or so, and the danger is having her inner monologue the entire time become monotonous and boring. I never really felt that way reading this, the things Mab says are hilarious and so so so relatable given that I am also a 20-something with minimal survival skills. And that makes all of her growth and transformation over the course of her journey feel more relatable because we are at the same stage as her right at the beginning of the book. So the author did an amazing job with that!

The ending did feel kinda predictable, of course it ends with Mab finding a band of humans and joining forces with them. And the allusion to how things are only going to get worse from here. Which is pretty cookie cutter stuff for apocalyptic novels. I guess you have to end the book somehow? I will say that the lackluster ending didn’t prevent me from thoroughly enjoying Mab’s inner monologue, and that the majority of the book is still great regardless.

The main question that I had going through the book was, why is this part of an asexual book club? Mab definitely isn’t asexual, she sometimes discusses how hard it is to date reasonable guys in Portland. And no one else really features in the book as a character. But then I looked up the author online, turns out that Sharp is asexual! 😊 Promote asexual artists and authors!

This Is Beautiful: B-Z Sides

Alright well I think we all know by now that I adore the band The Wombats. Well, as a Christmas present the band released a whole ton of demos and B sides on spotify entitled "B-Z Sides." When I first saw this I figured it'd be like early versions of their hit songs or really really REALLY bad early demos of flops or something. Basically, I didn't think that this would be a playlist worth listening to.

Oh boy was I wrong. They could take the hits from this playlist and make a whole new album out of it! And yes there are real bad early songs and one early version of a hit, but for the most part it's bops that I had never heard of (and I'm a big fan).

In my opinion, the best songs are "Addicted to the Cure," "Valentine," "Mosquito on the Wall," and "Glitterbug." But you should totally give it a listen and make up your mind for yourself! Link can be found on any social media from the band. :)

Trying New Things

Trying out new things and new hobbies is something that I tend to think about a lot. I'm not really sure why, maybe it's because I tend to want to do different things and expand my skillset more than others (I'm a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none for sure) but I also don't have much to compare it to.

On the one hand, I think it is a good thing to do just because it helps to expand your mind and how you think about things. I definitely made a switch by getting into philosophy, and that has for sure changed how I think. But there are less obvious examples. Trying new styles of dance means that I look at movement in a different way, or spending a brief amount of time on lighting crew in high school means that I see light (particularly in theaters) differently. You can never be sure what impact a new activity will have on what you think.

But on the other hand, people are so terrified to step out of their comfort zones. No one wants to pick up a new hobby just to look like an idiot in front of people who have been doing this for years. And I get that, I get that so much. I've looked like a total idiot in front of so many people numerous times, believe me. But if you have always wanted to pick up a guitar or learn to juggle, there really is no time like the present. The age you master this skill is the same age you'll reach if you don't, may as well go for it and start something new!

And over time you get comfortable with discomfort and feel better about being a beginner at something. And the whole process gets easier and you become more confident about trying new things!

Here's the real kicker: I take a lot of risks and try to pick up new hobbies and skills all the time. I'm super comfortable with it. I take absolutely no risks in my personal life. Nada. Zilch. If I want to hang out with someone, I'll never actually say it. Ask someone on a date? Nope have never done that. Tell someone that I care about them a lot? I'll wait for the other person to say it first. I'm a freaking coward when it comes to my emotions and interpersonal relationships.

That's just to say, that we're all cowards in one way or another. Apparently I'm real comfy with looking like a fool on stage or auditioning for something I have 0 chance of making, but I am so unable to strike up a conversation where I might be rejected. Maybe I should branch out more and work on those skills and developing that comfort there.