HOWEVER this is not a post about how being old sucks, this
is about what I have to show for the two decades I spent on this planet. And I
know everyone and their mother has made a list like this, but they’re always
filled with sappy junk like “cherish your friends” “you only live once” and
whatever. What I’m aiming for is an actual list that actually gives advice and
helps someone instead of being all touchy-feely (which means that a certain
amount of sass is going to be in attendance so sit up straight! And let’s go!).
1.
Stop
procrastinating! Like, right now!
Need to get something done? Do it now! Always wanted to do a thing? Do it now!
If you don’t get it done now it’s never going to happen and you’re going to be
stuck watching Netflicks forever! Up and at em’!
2.
Organize
and manage your time! This goes along with the previous one. Quit putting
it off, get a planner, and get your life together! No, you aren’t going to
remember that lunch date on Thursday, write it down somewhere and be
consistent! Plan out your day so you can do everything you want! Don’t have
enough time for everything? Liar, stop watching TV and playing Skyrim then!
3.
Get over
yourself right now. You are not the freaking chosen one, eventually you are
going to end that streak or fail that test or lose that thing. You are human,
you are going to make mistakes, just accept that now and get it out of the way.
Having said that, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
4.
Simplify!
I swear to the Powers that Be, if you buy one more unnecessary item that’s just
going to sit on your desk for the next ten years I’m going to have a fit. Get
rid of your junk! And don’t get anymore! You don’t need that new thing, it
isn’t going to kill you to not get it, and you aren’t even going to use it on a
regular basis! See it for what it is and be realistic before you buy it.
5.
You are
going to be alone. There is almost definitely going to be times when you
actually are alone, aka without anyone. Because they aren’t attached to you at
the hip, obviously. Take the time to get to know yourself, because you are
going to be spending a heck of a lot of time together.
6.
Nothing
lasts forever. Enjoy the moment with all you’ve got because it’s going to
pass and then no one will find the significance in it except you. And then
everyone’s going to leave until no one even remembers it anymore. So you better
enjoy it. Even if you aren’t enjoying it now, you’re going to later. Just
remember that.
7.
Go to
bed. Get sleep, you look like you need it.
8.
Stop
worrying about everyone else. Odds are, no one cares about what you’re
wearing today. If you just stop caring about what they think, your happiness is
going to skyrocket.
9.
Don’t do
that thing just because someone told you to. Think about it, consider it,
and question it. There are enough mindless zombies out there that you don’t
need to be one of them. Try thinking about your situation a little and wonder
if it all seems reasonable. Everything everyone has told you is completely
wrong, but no one ever believes me when I tell them that.
10.
Don’t
follow someone else’s philosophy, create your own. Figure out your own
ideas about life, love, and the universe, don’t become a parrot. Then you’ll
only get crackers.
11.
Disturb
the universe a little, it’s been far too quiet around here. Go out and do
something you have never done but wanted to do, or something you’ve never done
and don’t want to do. If you never try, you’re going to fail 100% of the time.
So stick that on your resume. Learn about something new, try something new!
Your only limits are in your mind, so why would you limit that as well?
12.
Just talk
to people! If you don’t put yourself out there and have a conversation
every once in a while, you are going to end up stuck inside with no one to talk
to. Strike up a conversation about cats or cheese or anything, you never know
what it will lead to. Doesn’t matter if you’ve never met them before or haven’t
spoken in years, talk!
13.
You never
know the full story. Ok so she did a thing. Did you ever think about why
she would do the thing? Or what that means to her? Consider what the other side
might be, realize that you have no freaking clue, and adjust your attitude
accordingly.
14.
There are
two things you only get one of in this life. One body and one brain. Don’t
freaking destroy them.
15.
If you
haven’t considered the fact that you’re eventually going to die yet you should
probably get on that. Time’s a wasting, and it’s going to happen one of
these days. Might even be tomorrow.
16.
Adjectives
are useless. There is no “bad” or “good” or anything. Everything just “is”.
So keep your opinions/descriptions to yourself.
17.
Shut up
and listen. People are talking because they have something to say, so give
them the courtesy of actually listening and understanding them. And the
reverse, unless you have something really important to say, then just shut up.
18.
Remember
what happens. There is no point if you just forget it. Keep a journal,
write down what you’ve done and who said what, it’s all going to be fascinating
later.
19.
Having
said all this, stop working so hard and have a little fun. You do not need
to be constantly doing something that you need to do or that will help you
later or something. Take a break, stop and smell the roses a little. Find
people lying in a field and join them. It isn’t going to hurt you.
20.
QUIT
READING THIS STUPID BLOG AND LIVE YOUR LIFE
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