Today I was given a video of myself from four years ago,
which I made as a sort of time capsule my freshman year. Watching it was
strange, I knew that it was myself, but it also felt like this was my child in
a strange way. I just wanted to tell past me that everything would be ok and
give her a hug.
Funnily enough though, I think that she comforted me more
and I could comfort her. Somehow in my wisdom I opened the message with “you
did good, you have done a great job” and ended it with “if you’re happy, I’m
happy” which nearly brought me to tears. I had no possible idea of what I was
going to do then, but I was determined that it would be good.
And turns out that my plans didn’t change that much, I knew
what I was going to major and minor in and my friends are mostly the same. You
can tell though that I am also completely different now, just visually even. My
glasses are different, my hair went from a ponytail to almost a pixie, and I
had a necklace on in that video that my roommate gave me. So just the
experience of seeing past me was a bit of a jolt, I forgot that was what I
looked like.
Probably the most interesting part of the video though was
when I was just talking about my day. Just getting a glimpse into my life was
fascinating. That day I had class, then went to register my friend’s car, then
had a meeting about an act I was working on (my first act, wow time flies), and
after this I was going to talk to a professor about working in her lab. This
professor is now my advisor, and I am still working in her lab! The progression
of everything from then until now is incredible, because here I am as the
finished project, while back then it was just the seeds.
There isn’t a big message or anything that I wanted to
communicate with this post, other than the fact that it is fascinating to see
yourself from years ago. And I wish I had the foresight to do that more often,
because past me left a video about 10 minutes long but I could watch her for
hours. It was a really pleasant surprise this morning. 😊
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